Monday, 14 September 2009

Too Long

When I started this blog I had every intention of carrying on with it. But like a lot of things in life, it got forgotten. But here I am once more. Updating when I can.
Its been a busy few months for me. Getting married, trying desperately to find a new job, trying to get my new house sorted.

But I am determined to publish as much of my writing on here as I can. I also would like to add news about things I am interested in. I will also try and post pictures and all that.

So in the mean time, here is an account of the day I was lucky enough to see my friends baby boy born

7th Jan 2009.

I had been at work for 2 odd hours and had just finished my second cup of coffee and biscuits when the text came. Now I had been on alert for hours, expecting a call in the middle of the night. But all was silent so I assumed the hospital had sent her home again (seems to be their way of working!) So the text was a bit of a shock. It was 10.15 and the text told me she was 9cm and needed me asap. Great I was 20 miles away. Would I get there in time? I prayed I would. I made an excuse I had a family emergency and rushed out. I hot tailed it down the A14 as fast as my clunker car could shake me, praying that Amanda would hold on. I had images of her giving birth without anyone beside her.
But I made good time and got from Felixstowe to Ipswich hospital in about 20 minutes. I rushed through the halls and into the ward. I was directed to the room and walked in. She was laying on the bed, her back to me. She looked pale but that was to be expected with what she was going through. Mark had popped out for a coffee. And I was in need of one! Amanda was battling through on gas and air, having been too late for an epdurial. How typical is that? The poor mother to be was pushed from pillar to post while she was struggling through contractions. Sent home more times then I can count, and now she was too late for one. Trust Amanda to be awkward! But she battled on through the pain. They were coming quick and were lasting longer and longer, getting stronger and stronger. I felt helpless. Wanting to help her get rid of the pain. I didn’t really know what to do, do I help her breath, do I hold her hands. Do I do what they show in the movies and tell her to “pant”? But each time they came I tried to reassure her that they would be over in a while and that everything was okay. Mark arrived back and decided to comment on how his wife sounded like Darth Vader on the gas and air. Was true but Amanda was in to much pain to find it that funny. But that kept her mind off the pain as we chatted between contractions.
Now she had gone through one bottle of gas and air and was now needing another. The lovely midwifes popped another one and Amanda tried to break it before she reaped its benefits. Mark popped out once again to make calls to the grandparents to let them know Mr Stubborn was on his way. A young female doc called Gemma came in wanting to see a normal birth. It was strange to see the doc and the 2 midwives stood around at the bottom of the bed. Chatting about college work and stuff while Amanda was minutes away from having a baby. They actually looked like they were waiting for a bus!!! But they were used to this waiting game. As the contractions got stronger and even longer, the midwives checked and told her it was time and she could start pushing.
I wasn’t too sure how I was going to react to what was going on. The icky stuff, the pushing, the squeezing of the hands. But I was amazed at how I handled it as I watched the baby crowning each time Amanda pushed. Each time I saw a few more inches. I kept stroking Amanda’s head or arms and telling her that she could do it this time. One more and that would be it. You can do this. I assumed she was listening to me. She gritted through the pain and listened to me. Now I felt like I was helping. I held her hands and stroked her hair.
So as Amanda gripped harder on my hands, she mustered all her might and after a while, 12.25pm to be precise, Aiden finally joined us. The look of joy and relief on Amanda’s face as he was placed on her belly was a wonderful thing. Seeing him being born was fantastic and to see Amanda’s face when she realised she finally had her son was magical. The emotions that came over her were mixed. The feeling that she finally done it after half an hour of screaming that she couldn’t. Aiden lay scrunched up on his mothers chest crying his tiny lungs out. His tiny fingers curled up, his tiny eyes tight shut. He wasn’t as “covered in stuff” as I had imagined. He was quite clean. I stroked his tiny head and marvelled at what was going on. After seeing Amanda in so much pain, I wondered if I could ever go through that. But seeing the joy on Amanda’s face and stroking the hair of this 10 minute old baby. I felt the excitement and happiness a new father should be feeling. I desperately wanted to get Mark in so he could see his son. I felt strange having seen his son before he did. But there was still too much going on in the room. The nurses asked who was going to cut the cord and I asked Amanda if Mark would be able to. She said no so the nurses did the honour. They had been great and what better way then to ring in the birth!
As soon as everything was okay, Mark was called in and I stepped aside to let the new parents marvel at their baby. The next half hour was a blur. Aiden was cuddled by mum, dad and auntie Catrina. Checked by the midwives and cuddled more. We had to kick Mark out again as the midwives finished up with Amanda. He returned on cue and escorted his wife to have a much needed and deserved bath leaving Auntie Catrina to baby sit (i am so charging for that!!!!!) Amanda left saying I deserved to spend some time with him, and this will be etched in my mind forever. I stood and looked at him. Took pics and picked him up when he cried. It was still had to believe he was here. An hour ago he wasn’t. Soon enough we were transporting the new mother down to her ward. I left 4 hours after I got there, shocked at what had happened. But happy I had been there.
I had been worried about so many things. How I would cope with it all? If I was going to be supportive or just a pain in the backside? But mostly about if Amanda would be okay with all the pain. She had a bad pelvis that was painful enough. But to have a baby with that pain. I was terrified she would be in too much pain. But I was so proud and amazed at how she handled it. Yeah she was calling out in pain with the usual “I can’t do this” calls. But for someone with a bad pelvis. She done extraordinary. She kept apologising to the midwives for how she was but they kept reassuring her she was doing well. And she was. Not just well but amazing. It was an “easy” birth and Amanda got through it with no strong pain relief. What a star. It was a relaxed and calm birth. Aiden will be proud to know his mother gave birth with dignity and grace.

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